Thunderstorm Apathy

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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Thunderstorm Apathy

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Fri Oct 08 2010, 19:10

    They gather over head like a father
    the seamlessly gray color they hold is never really a bother
    his hand reaching out to the ground below him
    its cool touch is the one that caresses my skin
    His movement is through the wind
    no shape or form could reach that state of mind

    You quietly wander across the night sky
    watching every plane full of people pass by
    Bringing a sense of relief to a place beaten by the sun
    the heat wave's wrath has been over passed
    Inviting you are to our town...giving huge relief
    your gift is special in it own belief

    Cleansing our souls with your rain
    please come back and stay again
    Your floods can be deadly in all its power
    yet that is of nature's austere en dower
    Purification is what I enjoy most about you
    the cold feeling on my face is all but refreshing
    Droplets gather on leaves in the forest
    you wash away the troubles from my past
    You know how to gently put me to sleep
    your calming sound is the only one i want to hear,when I'm off my feet

    Your voice echoes through the night sky
    stopping all other sound around the city
    The warning he brings through his lightening
    it can be ever so frightening
    Traveling through the night sky
    I watch you the thunderstorm apathy


    Last edited by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Sat Oct 09 2010, 13:18; edited 1 time in total
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    Re: Thunderstorm Apathy

    Post by quater on Fri Oct 08 2010, 20:26

    Nice work, Cris.
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Thunderstorm Apathy

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Fri Oct 08 2010, 20:30

    thanks Q(:
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    Re: Thunderstorm Apathy

    Post by Toshii on Fri Oct 08 2010, 20:37

    looooooooooooooooooves it~ Oh Yeah!
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    Re: Thunderstorm Apathy

    Post by SickSelfishSyQo on Fri Oct 08 2010, 23:12

    I like how you can tell a story in a poem
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Thunderstorm Apathy

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Sat Oct 09 2010, 00:21

    thank u SSS & toshii
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    Re: Thunderstorm Apathy

    Post by KarateKeyaQ on Sat Oct 09 2010, 12:43

    Ooooooooooh, really nice (:

    But the second line, "the seem less gray color they hold is never really a bother" Really had me confused. Is it suppose to be, "They seem less gray?"
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Thunderstorm Apathy

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Sat Oct 09 2010, 13:16

    thanks oh & i forgot to fix that part.. its supposed to be "the seemlessly gray"
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    Re: Thunderstorm Apathy

    Post by KarateKeyaQ on Sun Oct 10 2010, 20:39

    Oh okay, that makes more sense, thanks (:

    It was really good though. I can tell you're improving.
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    Re: Thunderstorm Apathy

    Post by Mikel on Tue Oct 12 2010, 00:13

    pretty good. can't pass much credible judgment. i'm not good with poems.
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Thunderstorm Apathy

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Tue Oct 12 2010, 02:27

    its k thanks for reading & commenting mikel(:

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