The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

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    dark_Raptor
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    The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by dark_Raptor on Mon Apr 19 2010, 20:52

    Roku felt the hairy legs grabbing around him. The legs drew him near the monster's face.
    "Well crusader, any last words?” A demented voice asked him. “Are you glad you tried to stop me? You know if you hadn’t become a Crusader, you would have lived today.”
    Roku gave an angry feature towards Tomi. I can’t lose like this, my first battle. I have to survive this! Roku thought.

    “Let me help him out!” Kenji said. “Flame”--- he tried to let out.
    “You’re too weakened,” Kadami said,
    “I’m sure he’ll survive this!” Tamiko said with a bright attitude.
    “What?” Kenji said, “He’s inches away from his death, how could you say that?” Yakama began to cry,
    “Well, Kenji, I think he is going to survive. Just look at him.”
    “Huh?” Kenji asked, he turned around to see Roku having stabbed the spider’s leg.

    “No use! You’re too weak to hack off my legs! Now to finish you off!” Tomi yelled his words were cold and bitter. He let out a cry of pain, as his leg fell to the ground.
    “I don’t know what’s happening, but I feel incredibly powerful.” Roku said. “Spirit Walk!”
    Tomi’s half spider face went completely shocked as he saw Roku disappear out of no where.
    “Where are you?!” He screamed. He then let out another cry of pain, for another one of his legs had fallen off.
    “It’s no use, you’re not powerful enough anymore!” Roku said. “The Blades Storm!”
    Roku started to spin around. He was moving so incredibly fast that every spin felt like a hundred blades had cut him. Tomi began to run away, he started to crawl up a tree with his spider legs.

    “I knew he could do it.” Kenji said,
    “Yeah right!” Tamiko replied.

    “You’ve got more power than I would have thought of you to have.” Tomi said, Roku began to tire down.
    “I’ve got some more tricks up my sleeve.” Roku threatened.
    “As do I,” Tomi replied with an evil tone. “Spiderlings, assemble!”

    “Oh no,” Kadami said. He started to sprint towards the situation.
    “I’m not scared of you!” Roku said. Suddenly spiders began to pour out of Tomi’s mouth, thousands of incredibly sized spiders crawled out of Tomi.

    “Go Kenji! You may be weak, but Kadami needs help, and I need to get Yakama out of this.” Tamiko said urgently towards Kenji.
    “Yes.” Kenji said, he began to run after the spiders. Tamiko lifted Yakama, who was shocked off of the ground and started to run out of the forest.

    After hundreds of spiders had come out the flow stopped. He returned to his human form.
    “Have fun, I’m gonna go make an unstoppable army of the undead.” Tomi said, he waved his arm and then jumped off of the tree that he was on.
    “The nerve of that boy,” Kadami said as he reached Roku.
    The spiders started to charge at them. Kadami swung his blade cutting few. “Roku and Kenji, return to your weaker power, that’s all we’ll need to feat these.” Kadami said, he then looked over at the recently slain spiders, from inside of them came hundreds of more smaller spiders.
    “Oh no.” Kadami said.

    Kenji stabbed through a spider. He started to feel something on his back.
    “Get it off of me!” he yelled, the started to stomp on the smaller spiders that poured out of the deceased.
    He then suddenly felt the spider stop moving around on his back, he turned around to see Roku had stabbed it.
    “Good work, let’s finish these off!”
    “Alright!” Roku responded.

    The battle never intensified, as the Crusader warriors began to weaken, so did the spiders. After an hour of pure combat, they were slain.

    Kadami looked at the spider corpses that littered the forest.
    “Jeesh, I hate those things.” Kadami said, out of breath.
    “Yeah, I have arachnophobia.” Roku said,
    “Sucks for you guys. I’m not scared of anything!” Kenji said with no proof.
    “Yeah right,” Roku said.

    “Good work boys.” Kadami said seriously. “Roku, whenever we see Tomi again, which I am sure that we will, I’ll let you have the honors of killing him.”
    “Thank you,” Roku said. “I would’ve had him too.”
    “Don’t sweat it. You’re power sure beats Kenji’s!”
    “Hey!” Kenji said.

    “Let’s get out of here.” Roku said, before Kenji had got the chance to defend himself.
    They began to walk out of the forest.

    “I remembered I told my mom that I would be back before it got dark.” Kenji said, “I am so screwed.”
    “I didn’t even tell my mom that I was leaving! I was kind of abducted by my trainer!” Roku said.
    “Now it’s bright again. And we’re late for school.” Kenji said dully. Kadami listened intently to their conversation.
    “Like you would’ve even been to class.” Roku said. “But me, my perfect attendance, ruined to a bunch of spiders.”
    “Yeah, but be glad you didn’t die.” Kadami said,
    “Oh, yeah, you’re right. I could have died.”
    “How do you forget something like that?!” Kenji asked.

    ***

    “This is an outrage! The Necromancers are becoming even bigger! Every day they assemble more dead, we can’t let them keep growing like this.” A large man said. He sat back down in his black chair, the walls were blue, and several other chairs were placed around a large brown table. Most were filled.
    “Yes, but sir, we should attack them before they attack us!” A white haired man said,
    “Hiro, I am with you.” Nouri said, his figure was much lower than those who surrounded him. About ten men were in the room.
    “But what about the humans? We can’t leave them defenseless?” A brown haired color woman asked,
    “Who said we had to Masa?” Hiro replied,
    “We don’t have enough men to suffice a direct attack on the Land of the Dead!” A short man with a beard said.
    “Koji is right too. If we want to have a defense and an offense, then we need more people.” The large man said.
    “Master Saburo, how come we don’t bring our students with us?” Tamiko said. “It’d be great training for them, and we’d have a bunch of extra people with us!” Her face smiled.

    “The attack starts in a week.” Saburo said. “Meeting dismissed. You will be informed if you are staying or attacking next week.”
    The room started to empty as people walked out. Saburo began to write on papers. He was the only one in the room. He kept writing for a couple of minutes.

    The room suddenly started to get extremely bright, and then returned to it’s original stance.
    “Shuji!” Saburo let out. Out of thin air Shuji had appeared in the middle of the meeting room’s table. Shuji said nothing.
    Saburo pulled his sword out of his sheath, “I am the most powerful Crusader! Prepare to face me!” Saburo yelled.
    “That’s amusing,” Shuji said with a scary tone. Shuji then made a scythe appear into his hands. Saburo swung his sword at Shuji, which broke on impact.

    “Impossible!” Saburo said, his face was in total alarm.
    “Possible. I’m surprised; I thought you would have put up a fight, since you are the most powerful crusader right?” He lifted up his scythe getting ready to swing. “I guess you guys aren’t much of a threat after all.”
    He then let his scythe down into Saburo’s head. As he swung it you could see the terrifying power trailing behind the scythe in the form of bright red energy. So much power killed Saburo instantly.

    Shuji then picked up the corpse, and slammed it against the wall, he stuck his finger to it’s head.
    “Awaken.”


    Last edited by dark_Raptor on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:22; edited 5 times in total
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by dark_Raptor on Mon Apr 19 2010, 20:53

    I wanted to release this tonight, it might feel rushed, but I will revise soon!
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by Toshii on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:03

    niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. :DDD
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by dark_Raptor on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:04

    Is it as well written as most chapters?
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by CLAIRVOYANTdisease on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:05

    Ugh, spiders.
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by Toshii on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:10

    dark_Raptor wrote:Is it as well written as most chapters?

    yes :D

    and i agree clair! D: yucky spiders! yucky spider Tomi! >_>
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by CLAIRVOYANTdisease on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:15

    Zombies and spiders.. whats next? xD
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by quater on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:18

    Overall, liked it! But could use some work! Not your best chapter dude.
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by dark_Raptor on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:19

    I'm editing a bunch of stuff.
    In my opinion the grammar sucked.
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by Toshii on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:19

    CLAIRVOYANTdisease wrote:Zombies and spiders.. whats next? xD

    ........bats? :D
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by CLAIRVOYANTdisease on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:20

    Bats arent that bad.
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by CLAIRVOYANTdisease on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:20

    dark_Raptor wrote:I'm editing a bunch of stuff.
    In my opinion the grammar sucked.
    It wasn't so bad.
    Its readable, thats all that matters to me most of the time Cowboy
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by dark_Raptor on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:23

    ...Hooray for readable?
    I'm disappointed in myself.
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by Banouin on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:27

    CLAIRVOYANTdisease wrote:
    dark_Raptor wrote:I'm editing a bunch of stuff.
    In my opinion the grammar sucked.
    It wasn't so bad.
    Its readable, thats all that matters to me most of the time Cowboy

    I see it does not take much for you to like something. >_> *Hides my stories from you.*
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by Toshii on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:28

    dark_Raptor wrote:...Hooray for readable?
    I'm disappointed in myself.

    D: it was good to meh :D
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by dark_Raptor on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:33

    :3
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by CLAIRVOYANTdisease on Mon Apr 19 2010, 21:37

    Banouin wrote:
    CLAIRVOYANTdisease wrote:
    dark_Raptor wrote:I'm editing a bunch of stuff.
    In my opinion the grammar sucked.
    It wasn't so bad.
    Its readable, thats all that matters to me most of the time Cowboy

    I see it does not take much for you to like something. >_> *Hides my stories from you.*
    No Wahh
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    Re: The Red Eclipse - Chapter 4

    Post by mrssabakunogaara on Tue Apr 20 2010, 12:26

    Very good! Oh Yeah!

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