R.I.P.ped

    Share
    avatar
    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 37490
    Age : 26
    Fanclubs : NaruHina & SasuSaku FC,WOTN Veteran Princes
    Village : Military
    Happiness bar :
    98 / 10098 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-16

    AMP
    Natural: 11
    Power: 0
    Instinct: 11

    R.I.P.ped

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Wed Jul 29 2009, 05:00

    i was rly sleepy but wanted to write a new poem. Rly don't know how this poem will turn out. spelled some stuff wrong. don't kill me>_< Comment plz

    Ripped and shattered like a glass figure...there she lies

    So dispacbly displaced that she's unreckonizable to my eyes
    To have the one person you fucking love...thrashed from the very bearings of your memory
    Cast aside those long deep feelings of remorse..for u don't want to have them pass you by
    Rattling your mind around this venomous snake they call death...
    you just can't seem to track that in your path
    Crying in the pain for your lost loved one...your heart bleeds achingly
    Spilling into deep pools on your bedroom floor seemlessy

    Numb in the heart...as the ice in your freezer
    A chunk of your heart falls to the pits of darkness...of the unknown
    Never to be returned feeling like a dead weight to the world alone
    Praying and praying with your entire soul...when all you want is to replace that demonic filled day...
    Throw back the hands of time but all u end up doing is asking why
    Fighting against that bastard of a wind...
    all you want to do is fend the cold hearted truth inside
    Why did they have to take her/him?
    why not take me...let me be the withering flower
    you venomous demon just take me and my power

    Everyone dressed in the resenting mournful color...
    you look to your mother...saying why did they have to take her.."my lover"
    Looking up at the gloomed filled skies..standing there wanting to cry
    Flower and candles...dressed around the casket
    She's so peaceful there...resting but the aches tamper my chest
    I won't forget you ever...you changed everything for me..there's no contest
    "I'd die for you.."whispering thru the deslolate atmosphere..
    A mournful heart weeps...for you knowing your resting peaceful out there
    Your my guardian angel now...

    Holding my candle up in respect...never forgotten i tell u that
    avatar
    gaara12
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 4771
    Age : 21
    What's up Tab :
    Village : Cops
    Happiness bar :
    0 / 1000 / 100

    Registration date : 2008-09-24

    AMP
    Natural: 8
    Power: 9
    Instinct: 10

    Re: R.I.P.ped

    Post by gaara12 on Wed Jul 29 2009, 14:19

    wow. thats a good poem. its awesome, so to speak. this one is also one of ur best
    avatar
    Temari
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 53604
    Age : 22
    What's up Tab : Living is a buffet and dying is the dessert. :3
    I don't do drugs! I do doughnuts!~

    Village : Cops
    Happiness bar :
    8 / 1008 / 100

    Registration date : 2008-03-13

    AMP
    Natural: 0
    Power: 0
    Instinct: 0

    Re: R.I.P.ped

    Post by Temari on Wed Jul 29 2009, 14:24

    It's a wonderful poem Cris.
    I like it but it makes me depressed reminding me of my grandfathers who passed away.
    avatar
    King_Of_Blades
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10075
    Age : 23
    What's up Tab : Watching One Piece.
    Fanclubs : jesus freaks FC WOTN vetrean princes, WOTN birgade,Soul Eaters
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2008-05-29

    AMP
    Natural: 0
    Power: 0
    Instinct: 0

    Re: R.I.P.ped

    Post by King_Of_Blades on Wed Jul 29 2009, 15:29

    It was great. Made me think back to all the good memories me and my dad and mom had before they passed away.
    avatar
    KarateKeyaQ
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 41152
    Age : 6
    Village : Cops
    Happiness bar :
    2 / 1002 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-10-30

    AMP
    Natural: 2
    Power: 0
    Instinct: 2

    Re: R.I.P.ped

    Post by KarateKeyaQ on Wed Jul 29 2009, 15:45

    Awwwwww!
    It was sad but only because you were talking about someone passing, of course. I liked the last line. It was very powerful.
    I think everyone could relate to someone close to them passing on. That's why it got us sad, haha.
    I liked this one a lot. Good job Cris ^_^
    avatar
    azuki_dashi16
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 15860
    Age : 21
    What's up Tab : The 849th member Whistle

    I'm fifteen for a moment. Caught in between ten and twenty, and I'm just dreaming, counting the ways to where you are.


    ZeroxAzuki

    Village : Mockingbird
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-11-14

    AMP
    Natural: 5
    Power: 5
    Instinct: 5

    Re: R.I.P.ped

    Post by azuki_dashi16 on Wed Jul 29 2009, 16:00

    Wow, good job! owo
    I agree with Gaara, this is one of your bests ^_^
    avatar
    tsuki_uchiha
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 2256
    Age : 25
    What's up Tab :
    Fanclubs : neji and kiba FC, deidara FC, Pretty Boy FC, the official NARUHINA AND SASUSAKU FC,FMA FC
    Village : Mockingbird
    Happiness bar :
    60 / 10060 / 100

    Registration date : 2008-06-17

    AMP
    Natural: 7
    Power: 7
    Instinct: 7

    Re: R.I.P.ped

    Post by tsuki_uchiha on Wed Jul 29 2009, 23:02

    it's amazing. even i felt ya know, sad.
    avatar
    Always-Abby
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 10519
    Age : 608
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    90 / 10090 / 100

    Registration date : 2008-08-10

    AMP
    Natural: 63
    Power: 63
    Instinct: 64

    Re: R.I.P.ped

    Post by Always-Abby on Thu Jul 30 2009, 09:30

    Absolutely love it Cris.
    This might just be my favorite.
    But I think it's great that you can make such a beautiful poem even when you're half-asleep. ^_^
    avatar
    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 37490
    Age : 26
    Fanclubs : NaruHina & SasuSaku FC,WOTN Veteran Princes
    Village : Military
    Happiness bar :
    98 / 10098 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-16

    AMP
    Natural: 11
    Power: 0
    Instinct: 11

    Re: R.I.P.ped

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Fri Jul 31 2009, 13:20

    thanks for your comments everyone^^
    avatar
    GL
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 27737
    Age : 23
    What's up Tab : Daydreaming~

    Fanclubs : WOTN birgade, Pretty People FC
    Village : Mockingbird
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-09-26

    AMP
    Natural: 121
    Power: 121
    Instinct: 121

    Re: R.I.P.ped

    Post by GL on Sat Aug 01 2009, 13:44

    awesome done crisp ^^ this was really good!
    avatar
    sabaku no ketsueki
    Sanda
    Sanda

    Female
    Number of posts : 22230
    Age : 24
    What's up Tab : Life is tough, but it's even tougher when you're stupid.
    Fanclubs : Kabuto FC, Death Note FC
    Village : Mockingbird
    Happiness bar :
    61 / 10061 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-09-19

    AMP
    Natural: 0
    Power: 0
    Instinct: 0

    Re: R.I.P.ped

    Post by sabaku no ketsueki on Sat Aug 01 2009, 19:03

    no...blue..posts..
    no blue posts!

    anyways. Depressing. Then again, most poems are. Moving imagery, though. Another good one.

    Sponsored content

    Re: R.I.P.ped

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Thu Sep 21 2017, 22:46