Cris's 12th poem

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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Cris's 12th poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Fri Sep 26 2008, 23:22

    Whisper

    Wandering pass the serene yet desolate paths of the open road
    He goes forth curiously awaiting for the chance to see that seemlessly beautiful smile that she held..
    Those deep thoughts and feelings surrounding his vague and pressured mind
    His ice blue eyes that glisten like being lost in the torments of mother nature's blizzard
    Slowly drifting his eyes searching as if an eery presence lurked around him

    The sun casting its last rays on him as the moon gives way leaping over the mountains..
    This girls she drifts through his mind like memories of the long lost past
    He curses to the heavens...grieving mostly in the subtle moments of his heart
    Will he ever truly be happy like the forsaken true love is...

    He walks upon the path of the swaying trees
    gazing at the flowers as they dance in the cool brisk breeze of the night...
    Pondering more on the thoughts of this girl
    that he can't seem to approach
    His eyes lurk over to a huge oak tree on the hill
    his heart skips a beat as he notices her
    sitting under the trees outstretched arms...
    He looks afar noticing her being pulled by tentacles of sleep
    taking those fateful uneven steps, he feels his heart seap...
    mumbling in the last glisten of the full moon.."Hinoya.."
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    KarateKeyaQ
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by KarateKeyaQ on Fri Sep 26 2008, 23:25

    Did you change some of it? I dun remember that last part.

    Anywho, GREATTTTTTTTTTTT. I don't know why but every new poem of yous becomes a favorite xD

    You're..like..freaking awesome! The way you put words together....just genius!

    And yes I mean everyword I just typed ;D Keep it up!~! ^_~
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Fri Sep 26 2008, 23:27

    aww thank you keya, yes i did change some of it up in the beginning and end.
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    Titaniumxvx
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by Titaniumxvx on Fri Sep 26 2008, 23:28

    He should talk to the girl.

    Wow, I seriously like it, especially your word choice and the ending except I didn't know what Hinoya was.

    Superb, Crispin!
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Fri Sep 26 2008, 23:31

    thank you titan^^
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by knssquad on Sat Sep 27 2008, 00:35

    YAY!!! :3
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by Temari on Sat Sep 27 2008, 01:00

    it was awesome. way better than mine.
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by Kitaro on Sat Sep 27 2008, 01:53

    its a great poem cris I like it alot
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by AkiQ on Sat Sep 27 2008, 10:18

    good job crispy.
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by neon kun on Sat Sep 27 2008, 10:57

    it was very nice. ^^
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by tsuki_uchiha on Sat Sep 27 2008, 13:38

    wow, this poem is awesome. i like the way you come up with them. they always like you know make sense, even when you make up a ryhming one. you are one of the awesomest (if that's a word) poet ever.
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Sat Sep 27 2008, 18:04

    thank you mikel,kitaro,aki,tsuki & tema.
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by GL on Sat Sep 27 2008, 18:05

    awesomeeee!! just so awesome job crisp!! :D
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by AtaruSabrMaster on Sat Sep 27 2008, 19:31

    ooo i love it!!! how do u come up with them? they're great! ^^
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by LyricalM on Sat Sep 27 2008, 20:49

    Pretty Good My Friend..... you are getting better
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by judai12 on Sat Sep 27 2008, 20:59

    WOW! so good^^ i love love love it ^^ its soooo good
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by MissQoolKat on Sun Sep 28 2008, 03:32

    :'3 This ish so pretty.

    You git better and better! They all come out amazingggg!!! <3
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Sun Sep 28 2008, 03:35

    thanks^^
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by Angelic Harmony on Sun Sep 28 2008, 15:14

    Its fantastic Jazzy! Great use of words and it really beautiful. ^_^
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by King_Of_Blades on Sun Sep 28 2008, 15:45

    keep up the good work sis this 1s very awesome
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by Banouin on Sun Sep 28 2008, 15:45

    Neh, I told you in a pm, but may as well post it, Goodjob ^_^
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by InnerCherry on Sun Sep 28 2008, 15:45

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    CHERRY LOVES IT!!!! AWESOME, DEEP, AND EXCELLENT AS USUAL!!!

    Seriously, you should become an authoress.
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Sun Sep 28 2008, 15:46

    thank you charm,bano & james^^
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by panthachild on Sun Sep 28 2008, 19:35

    omg that was amazing
    you should like publish your poems
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    Re: Cris's 12th poem

    Post by amaterasu on Sun Sep 28 2008, 19:42

    It was good, I really liked the detail, It was a good amount

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