Cris's 7th poem

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    NarutoBoyFreakah
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by NarutoBoyFreakah on Sat Jul 19 2008, 21:21

    awesome cris ^^ i love it
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    Sado
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by Sado on Sun Jul 20 2008, 01:57

    CrispinFreemanWatcher16 wrote:Pain

    This pain it comes in many forms to attack the heart and mind of humans
    It pulsates with a deep throbbing, like a needle from a shot and all you want is to resist the fumes...Why does "pain" seek to mess with the lives of people?

    Can't "pain" just disappear and disinegrate away...
    Like acid...why do you keep haunting my torchered soul...can't you tell...that I've had enough of you!..All you do "pain" is stain me...having me feel regret because of you, causing my heart to feel the brunt force of it all....

    As I go through this thing called "pain"...I begin to grow stronger...and gradually my heart begins to toughen and become stronger in each step...but at the same time "pain"...you are wreckless and try to break my spirit...

    Somtimes dealing with "pain"...you are not easy...its not hard to forgive...but hard to forget...one thing I do learn from "pain" is you can grow stronger...and it can also teach you lessons...but in the hardest of ways..

    "Pain" you have walked through my path of life and you will continue to linger around me...
    But i will become a better person all because.... of you "pain" you teach me my mistakes...and give me a chance for me to not do that again...without "pain" in life...
    How do you hope be a stronger person?

    Psst, it's tortured not torchered.
    Also wouldn't it be a shot from a needle not a needle from a shot...and why are there fumes...is this needle on fire or is it injecting a gas of some kind?
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    neon kun
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by neon kun on Sun Jul 20 2008, 11:48

    great poem, you're doing better and better. ^^
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Sun Jul 20 2008, 11:54

    thank u
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    judai12
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by judai12 on Sun Jul 20 2008, 22:11

    Sado wrote:
    CrispinFreemanWatcher16 wrote:Pain

    This pain it comes in many forms to attack the heart and mind of humans
    It pulsates with a deep throbbing, like a needle from a shot and all you want is to resist the fumes...Why does "pain" seek to mess with the lives of people?

    Can't "pain" just disappear and disinegrate away...
    Like acid...why do you keep haunting my torchered soul...can't you tell...that I've had enough of you!..All you do "pain" is stain me...having me feel regret because of you, causing my heart to feel the brunt force of it all....

    As I go through this thing called "pain"...I begin to grow stronger...and gradually my heart begins to toughen and become stronger in each step...but at the same time "pain"...you are wreckless and try to break my spirit...

    Somtimes dealing with "pain"...you are not easy...its not hard to forgive...but hard to forget...one thing I do learn from "pain" is you can grow stronger...and it can also teach you lessons...but in the hardest of ways..

    "Pain" you have walked through my path of life and you will continue to linger around me...
    But i will become a better person all because.... of you "pain" you teach me my mistakes...and give me a chance for me to not do that again...without "pain" in life...
    How do you hope be a stronger person?

    Psst, it's tortured not torchered.
    Also wouldn't it be a shot from a needle not a needle from a shot...and why are there fumes...is this needle on fire or is it injecting a gas of some kind?

    what is the matter with u!!!!!!!
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Mon Jul 21 2008, 13:26

    its okay judai i don't mind the criticism. i seen now how i made that mistake
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    judai12
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by judai12 on Mon Jul 21 2008, 13:47

    ok. but he has to stop being mean
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by Laura-Chan on Sat Jul 26 2008, 16:52

    whoa, that is really deep
    I love this poem
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by PeinQAkatsuki on Mon Jul 28 2008, 14:06

    Awesome poem. It's totally true. You're an awesome poet Cris.
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Mon Jul 28 2008, 16:12

    thanks pein^___^
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    Kitaro
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by Kitaro on Thu Jul 31 2008, 03:22

    Crispin you write with your heart and soul which makes it great
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Thu Jul 31 2008, 03:23

    thank u a lot kitaro
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    Kitaro
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    Re: Cris's 7th poem

    Post by Kitaro on Thu Jul 31 2008, 03:24

    welcome you deserve the compliment

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