Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

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    Aichu
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    Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by Aichu on Thu Jul 03 2008, 21:15

    The following is a sneak peak of a novella (a short novel/long short story) that I am working on. The sneak peak isn't that great Hehehe... The actual story is much better written, but I will not post it until it's completely done or else it will give things away. I suspect it will be around 50 pages single-spaced typed when completed, so it will be around late august that I will probably finish.

    Summary:
    In the early nineties, a conservative town in the southern states is shocked when twelve-year old Mark Frasier is accused of raping a younger boy, his best friend Harley Longhurst. Ashes to Ashes explores the devestating and consuming effects of guilt on the human heart, and how it destroys the lives of two young boys and leaves their community with a rude awakening.



    Ashes to Ashes


    A short story by Tess aka Aichu



    Prelude:


    “Mark Frasier, please step up to the
    witness stand.”



    A murmur swept through the crowd as
    the round-eyed boy made his way to the front of the courtroom, dark hair
    bobbing up and down. When he turned to lay his hand on the bible, they could
    see that the entire left side of his face was black and blue.



    As Mark settled down in the
    witness’s chair, the prosecutor rose. He was barrel-shaped and red in the face
    with a heavy-set jaw. The flesh around his neck was loose and gathered above
    the too-tight collar of the man’s dress shirt.



    “Mr. Frasier did you or did you not
    understand the evidence that was just presented?” he addressed Mark.



    “Yes sir,” the boy replied.


    “Yes what, boy?”


    “I understood, sir.”


    The prosecutor walked over to the
    witness stand and produced a clear plastic bag.



    “These are the semen-stained
    undergarments that are alleged to belong to my client,” he said, waving the bag
    in Mark’s face. “Can you identify the semen as your own?”



    “I don’t know.”


    “That’s not a correct answer, Mr.
    Frasier.”



    “I don’t know, sir,” repeated Mark,
    “All semen looks the same to me!”



    The prosecutor’s scarlet flush
    spread to his ears. A snicker came from several directions, promptly silenced
    when the judge hammered his gavel.



    “Mr. Crosby,” the judge ordered the prosecutor, “Will you please refrain from
    asking the defendant rhetorical questions?”



    Mr. Crosby nodded. “See, boy: the DNA testing is telling us that these stains here
    match your
    DNA, so they must have come from you. Would you
    care to explain how your semen ended up on my client’s undergarment?”



    “I can’t explain, sir.”


    “Would you—.”


    “What I mean to say is,” Mark
    corrected himself, “I can’t remember.”



    “Can’t remember?” murmured Mr.
    Crosby. “Can’t remember…”



    He paced in front of the courtroom,
    pausing every so often to glance back at the defendant. Finally, he came to a
    stop in front of the witness stand. Without looking at Mark, he asked, “Mr.
    Frasier, will you please give us your account of what went on July the third of
    this year, on the afternoon of the incident?”



    “I went out just after lunch to meet
    my friend Harley in the woods, as we normally do each day.” The young boy’s
    voice was steady and collected. “When he wasn’t there, I began to worry and
    headed over to his house. His ma and his pa and his two sisters were out
    watching the football game— it was the Wesleyans versus the south-end Baptists,
    I think. When I went inside, Harley called me up to his room. He was sitting on
    his bed, looking an unhealthy pale.”



    Having up till that point been
    thoughtfully stroking his chin, Mr. Crosby suddenly paused. The mood of the
    courtroom grew heavy as Mark continued to tell his story. “He says to me, ‘My
    dog went and ran out on me just now. It ran out into them woods’. I asked him
    if he was feeling well, and he pleaded a favor from me. ‘Can you go look for my
    dog in them woods out there?’ he says. ‘I’d go, but I’m not feeling in the
    right’. So I did as he asked— if it had been my dog, I’d have worried to. It
    was near supper by the time I headed back to Harley’s place to tell him I
    couldn’t find his dog. When I got there, gentleman Hines,” he pointed to a man
    in police officer uniform seated in the audience, “had his cruiser parked in
    the driveway. I went inside the house and he was speaking to Harley’s ma and
    she was crying. That’s when they arrested me.”



    Mr. Crosby was quick to jump into
    cross-examination. “So, you’re saying that you weren’t present at the time of
    the reported incident.”



    “No sir, I wasn’t.”


    “Son, is there any reason my client
    would flat-out lie about something so serious to both his parents and the
    authorities?”



    “I don’t rightly know,” replied Mark.
    “We weren’t getting along that well up till then, but I wouldn’t guess it’d
    push him to get me in trouble. Harley isn’t that kind of kid.”



    “You and I both know that you’re
    bigger that my client here. Big enough, do you reckon, to throw him to the
    ground and hold him there?”



    “Probably. Harley’s just a scrawny
    prawn for his age.”



    The audience muttered.


    “Mr. Frasier, we have medical
    evidence of a rape on our hands. Can you try once more to explain how your
    semen ended up on my client’s shorts?”



    “I can’t, sir...”


    The murmur in the background grew
    angry.



    “Mr. Frasier, did you or did you not
    engage in sexual activity with my client?”



    Remaining hushed, Mark raised his
    hand to his face and touched his swollen cheek.



    Veins on the prosecutor’s forehead
    bulged. He grabbed Mark’s chin and forced the boy to look up at him. Pointing a
    finger at the prosecutor’s table, Mr. Crosby asked, “Did you rape Mr.
    Longhurst, boy?”



    The small, dirty-blonde haired boy
    who was seated at the prosecutor’s table stiffened.



    Still, Mark said nothing.


    “Did you rape Harley Longhurst?!”
    Mr. Crosby screamed in Mark’s face. “You better answer this time around, you
    little asshole!”



    “No,” Mark choked.


    The courtroom was momentarily
    silenced by the sound of Mr. Crosby slapping Mark across his good cheek. “When
    are we going to start hearing some straight truth from you, boy?”



    Suddenly, the audience became a mad
    buzz of angry shouts:



    “Lock him up!”


    “That was the bible you swore on,
    boy!”



    “Guilty!”


    “Order, order!” the judge was
    hammering the gavel with unprecedented furry. “This is a trial, for the Almighty’s
    sake! Mr. Crosby, any more trouble out of you and I’ll have you permanently
    dismissed from this court!”



    His warning came too late, though.
    Already, half the crowd has broken past the bailiff and was rushing at the defendant.
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by sabaku no ketsueki on Fri Jul 04 2008, 17:33

    SSNNNNAAAPPPPP!
    why have I not heard of this sooner???

    that was a kickass job. I expected nothing less from the Great Aichu.

    that's pretty damn awesome, keep it coming!
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by Aichu on Fri Jul 04 2008, 17:54

    sabaku no ketsueki wrote:SSNNNNAAAPPPPP!
    why have I not heard of this sooner???

    that was a kickass job. I expected nothing less from the Great Aichu.

    that's pretty damn awesome, keep it coming!

    Yay, thanks saba~! And the best part is, you don't have to correct my terrible grammer Oh Yeah!
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by sabaku no ketsueki on Fri Jul 04 2008, 19:44

    this both saddens and relieves me. do you have a different editor?

    is there...someone else? XD
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by Aichu on Fri Jul 04 2008, 19:47

    sabaku no ketsueki wrote:this both saddens and relieves me. do you have a different editor?

    is there...someone else? XD

    *dramatic music*

    YES SABAKU I'VE BEEN CHEATING ON YOU WITH ANOTHER EDITOR! Bwahaha

    XD No, actually, I'm attempting to do all the editing myself this time. I'd get my mother to do it, but I'm not sure how...pleased she would be with the story's, er, content >_>;;
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by sabaku no ketsueki on Fri Jul 04 2008, 19:56

    NOOO!
    XD that's going in my siggy :P

    is this the same mother that won't let you watch Harry Potter, but lets you watch I am Legend?
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by Aichu on Fri Jul 04 2008, 20:00

    sabaku no ketsueki wrote:NOOO!
    XD that's going in my siggy :P

    is this the same mother that won't let you watch Harry Potter, but lets you watch I am Legend?

    Yup. She won't let me watch Harry Potter Puppet Pals either. I don't even want to know what she'd think about me writing a novel surrounding rape, let alone gay rape XD
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by sabaku no ketsueki on Fri Jul 04 2008, 20:04

    lmao :P poor aichu! no potter puppet pals??????????
    ?

    well, I like it. YOU BETTER KEEP GOING!
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by amaterasu on Sun Jul 06 2008, 14:41

    why did you chose that topic anyway aichu?
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by Aichu on Sun Jul 06 2008, 15:00

    I couldn't sleep one night and I sort of had a day dream about two boys who were good friends and suddenly began hating each other. Then I started thinking about how many churches today are hypocritical and self-righteous. It eventually turned into this big complex story. Plus, I've always found the natural dark condition of the human heart an interesting subject to write about.
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by quater on Sun Jul 06 2008, 15:25

    ^Question.

    What the freedom is the natural Dark condition of the human heart? It's one of those things I hear a lot. Like when people draw pictures they always say "It's a self reflection of the authors feelings and emotions and blah".
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by Aichu on Sun Jul 06 2008, 15:34

    quater wrote:^Question.

    What the freedom is the natural Dark condition of the human heart? It's one of those things I hear a lot. Like when people draw pictures they always say "It's a self reflection of the authors feelings and emotions and blah".

    We're born sinners; naturally, we're incapable of doing any good act (good maybe, but for all the wrong reasons). It's only when the holy spirit enters into our lives that we desire (sometimes more so than others) to serve the Lord. There is nothing we can do to change our miserable condition, because it is in the very nature of human kind since The Fall- thus the natural part.

    One of the two boys in the story never comes to know God, and the evil act he commits as a youth is shown to fester and grow because of his earthly nature.
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by quater on Sun Jul 06 2008, 15:36

    So that's what the natural Dark whatever is. Basically it's our Sinful Nature. Easy Peasy.
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by Aichu on Sun Jul 06 2008, 15:38

    quater wrote:So that's what the natural Dark whatever is. Basically it's our Sinful Nature. Easy Peasy.

    Yup ^_^ I just have a tendency to ramble and make things so much more confusing than they need be.
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by quater on Sun Jul 06 2008, 15:40

    You're talking to the right kid ^_^
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by Aichu on Sun Jul 06 2008, 15:50

    Thesaurus huggers of the world unite! :D

    I get in trouble with teachers all the time because my essays and stuff are always too long. I just can't get my point accross in so little words.
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by amaterasu on Sun Jul 06 2008, 16:08

    Aichu wrote:
    quater wrote:^Question.

    What the freedom is the natural Dark condition of the human heart? It's one of those things I hear a lot. Like when people draw pictures they always say "It's a self reflection of the authors feelings and emotions and blah".

    We're born sinners; naturally, we're incapable of doing any good act (good maybe, but for all the wrong reasons). It's only when the holy spirit enters into our lives that we desire (sometimes more so than others) to serve the Lord. There is nothing we can do to change our miserable condition, because it is in the very nature of human kind since The Fall- thus the natural part.

    One of the two boys in the story never comes to know God, and the evil act he commits as a youth is shown to fester and grow because of his earthly nature.
    wrong!!!

    go back to pre-school



    humans are born pure. You can't be born a sinner because to sin is to miss the mark (literally that's what it means) and its no sin to be born. Also human nature is to do good. it is to do the right thing and to help and to love. However we are not strong enough to sustain that kind of living by ourselves and fall into temptation and we sin. And only by Christ's death and resurrection can we become clean again.
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by quater on Sun Jul 06 2008, 16:14

    Nope.

    We are born in sin. That's how it is.

    Man is born a sinner. And human Nature is not to do good. But to do wrong.

    You go back to Sunday School.
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by Aichu on Sun Jul 06 2008, 16:54

    amaterasu wrote:
    Aichu wrote:
    quater wrote:^Question.

    What the freedom is the natural Dark condition of the human heart? It's one of those things I hear a lot. Like when people draw pictures they always say "It's a self reflection of the authors feelings and emotions and blah".

    We're born sinners; naturally, we're incapable of doing any good act (good maybe, but for all the wrong reasons). It's only when the holy spirit enters into our lives that we desire (sometimes more so than others) to serve the Lord. There is nothing we can do to change our miserable condition, because it is in the very nature of human kind since The Fall- thus the natural part.

    One of the two boys in the story never comes to know God, and the evil act he commits as a youth is shown to fester and grow because of his earthly nature.
    wrong!!!

    go back to pre-school



    humans are born pure. You can't be born a sinner because to sin is to miss the mark (literally that's what it means) and its no sin to be born. Also human nature is to do good. it is to do the right thing and to help and to love. However we are not strong enough to sustain that kind of living by ourselves and fall into temptation and we sin. And only by Christ's death and resurrection can we become clean again.

    In that case, every human being would have a defining point in their life where they go from holiness to damnation. Also, it is not human nature to do good- what good we do do we do selfishly (haven't we already had the conversation?). Besides, look in the bible- when moses went up to get the comandements from God and left Israel alone, was it their first instict to do good?

    Don't think so.
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by sabaku no ketsueki on Sun Jul 06 2008, 17:59

    wow, how do we always end up in religious debates?

    2 words, kids. Original sin. that's were it all started. none of this "born pure" stuff

    ...just wanted to add my two cents ^^
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by amaterasu on Sun Jul 06 2008, 20:20

    Aichu wrote:
    amaterasu wrote:
    Aichu wrote:
    quater wrote:^Question.

    What the freedom is the natural Dark condition of the human heart? It's one of those things I hear a lot. Like when people draw pictures they always say "It's a self reflection of the authors feelings and emotions and blah".

    We're born sinners; naturally, we're incapable of doing any good act (good maybe, but for all the wrong reasons). It's only when the holy spirit enters into our lives that we desire (sometimes more so than others) to serve the Lord. There is nothing we can do to change our miserable condition, because it is in the very nature of human kind since The Fall- thus the natural part.

    One of the two boys in the story never comes to know God, and the evil act he commits as a youth is shown to fester and grow because of his earthly nature.
    wrong!!!

    go back to pre-school



    humans are born pure. You can't be born a sinner because to sin is to miss the mark (literally that's what it means) and its no sin to be born. Also human nature is to do good. it is to do the right thing and to help and to love. However we are not strong enough to sustain that kind of living by ourselves and fall into temptation and we sin. And only by Christ's death and resurrection can we become clean again.

    In that case, every human being would have a defining point in their life where they go from holiness to damnation. Also, it is not human nature to do good- what good we do do we do selfishly (haven't we already had the conversation?). Besides, look in the bible- when moses went up to get the comandements from God and left Israel alone, was it their first instict to do good?

    Don't think so.

    but but but

    look, my view on this is this

    (now entering amaterasu's point of view.. prepare yourselves)

    when a human is born is it sinless for it has done nothing

    but later it will inevitably sin and fall into the pit, which happens to everyone.

    For humans cannot be evil or good

    only god is good
    humans are neutral. They do good things and bad things.
    a problem occurs here because the good and bad do not cnacel out.
    for when you "sin" you miss the mark. its like getting a question wrong on a test (no bonus marks are rewarded either) and the passing mark is 100%
    which is impossible for any human
    But Jesus came down and aced that test then was killed so that we don't have to pass anymore.
    a human can chose which way he/she wants to live

    but at one point in their life, regardless which way they chose they will realize they are not "all that" and that there is someone bigger then themselves.
    now not everyone takes the same route. Some chose to enter the light and some not.

    A big part in all of this is temptation and we all know what that is like. We all have fallen into it and stuff regardless if you say your not a perv or if you've never lied. We have all had our very darkest moments, fears, and whatnot happen to us. We can't fix it but that doesn't mean it has to rule us. Our human nature takes after our decisions that we make. For no matter how you feel, you still have control of your actions, and that defines your nature.
    and i don't know what else to say for my mind is being invaded by music
    (now exiting amaterasu's point of view.... your safe to let down your guard now)
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by amaterasu on Sun Jul 06 2008, 20:20

    sabaku no ketsueki wrote:wow, how do we always end up in religious debates?

    2 words, kids. Original sin. that's were it all started. none of this "born pure" stuff

    ...just wanted to add my two cents ^^

    do ya understand what sin means??????????
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by quater on Sun Jul 06 2008, 20:38

    If people were sinless Jesus wouldn't have had to been born of a Virgin.
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    amaterasu
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by amaterasu on Sun Jul 06 2008, 21:06

    quater wrote:If people were sinless Jesus wouldn't have had to been born of a Virgin.

    did I say that?????????????
    WTF?!?!
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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

    Post by Aichu on Sun Jul 06 2008, 21:09

    I can understand where you're coming from, but I still say that humans are not born sinless. While a human may not be evil or good, the flesh is evil, and while we are still unsaved, we are under the control of the flesh.

    And, um wow. We really spammed this thread up XD I don't mind myself- I'm glad you guys are getting me thinking. It helps me really dig at the story's theme and figure out what I'm trying to say.

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    Re: Sneak Peak: Ashes to Ashes (a novella)

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