Makai

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    keep the chapters comin

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    Total Votes: 13
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    Choushi
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    Makai

    Post by Choushi on Wed Jul 02 2008, 13:27

    this is a dedication to my clan....the makai

    *as Q-sama sits in his chair he looks at the statues that surround the room*
    Q:
    man...i just hope i can be as good as you guys...
    *Q stands up and looks at the fith statue from the left*
    Q:
    but you, kazekage sama, were the greatest...you had strong allies also...the frog sage, master naruto, i remember all the stories you would tell us about him and his antics...how he even defeated you once...also how he helped you in your greatest time of need....he always had your back...but it wasnt just him either...master sasuke, lady sakura, master Lee, Master Neji, all of the konoha nin...im just dissapointed that konoha had to end like that....ambushed by...
    *just then choushi walks into the room*
    Q:
    oh...whats up choushi?
    Choushi:
    umm...were you talking to the statue of gaara-sama? and they say i'm crazy...well anyways you have an appointment today kazekage sama...
    Q:
    oh, when is it?
    Choushi:
    well, you were scheduled about...3 hours ago
    Q:
    Hehehe... oh, i must've lost the time
    Choushi:
    dont worry, im sure he'll understand
    Q:
    oh who is it?
    Choushi:
    why dont you go and find out?
    its an old friend...so lets go...hes been in the Sand box...practicing
    *the two sand shinobi leave and go downstairs of the building..down to the basement*
    Choushi:
    we're here
    *the door opens to see a sand moving strategicly trying to attack the small figure at the end of the stairwell..it is too far away for anybody to tell who it is...all that is visible is the gleam coming from his headband*
    Q:
    haha he's back...and he seems stronger
    *the sand engulfs the shinobi....and it is quiet for a while*
    Choushi:
    OH NO!!! *choushi jumps into the "sand box" in an attempt to save his friend
    Q:
    wait...choushi *choushi stops...suprised* you dont feel that?
    Choushi:
    what?
    Q:
    he gots this...his chakra...you cant feel that??
    *choushi returns to Q's side*
    choushi:
    *closes eyes to concentrate*
    WOAH!!! yea i feel it now...i thought it was the sand at first..but its him..

    *the sand suddenly starts moving...expanding..and even glowing..it starts floating...lifting up from the ground exposing a red glowing shinobi*
    Shinobi:
    SUPER NOVA!!!!!!!!
    *a blast comes from the shinobi like an energy wave spreading out through the room*
    Q:
    choushi, close the door
    Choushi:
    ooh pretty colors...
    *choushi closes the door before the blast reaches them..the blast is so powerful that the door almost melts off..*
    choushi:
    hes certainly has gotten stronger...well lets cool this door down...*choushi does his hand signs and collects some chakra and pushes his palms foward cooling down the door in an instant*
    Q:
    lets go greet him
    *Q kicks down the door to ashes and jumps down to see his old friend and war general...with choushi closely following happily greeting his childhood friend*
    Choushi:
    HEY MAN!! YOU KICKED THAT SANDS BUTT!!!
    man its so good to see you again re..
    *Q.puts his hand over choushi's mouth...mubling his words*
    Q:
    let me be the first to officialy welcome you back....renden...you obviously have become stronger..and you have much more control over..your..powers...
    choushi:
    *he slips away from Q's grip*
    yea...you seem different, but still you've come back soo cool dude, and *imitates Q's voice* i'd like to be the second person to officially greet you....
    Ren:
    umm..choushi...you were the first to welcome me...then i told you to get Q..you dont remember?
    Choushi:
    yea i do..ok maybe not...but Q is the first..so that must mean.......im the zeroth person to welcome you...COOL!!! *lets out a fangirl scream*
    Q:
    i dont think he took his meds today...LOL...well let us go back to my office..
    Ren:
    i was hoping you would say that...i have something to propose to you...it will make sand stronger...and more together as a unit...

    To be continued

    what is renden coming back from? why is he soo different? and what does he want to propose to the kazekage??? AND WHAT IS THE EFFIN SANDBOX??? all of these will be answered in the next chapter..if yall want one


    Last edited by -j0$3- on Thu Jul 10 2008, 08:18; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : make the story better...work out a few kinks)
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Makai

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Wed Jul 02 2008, 13:45

    its interesting and i wanna know more..and its funny^_^
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    Choushi
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Choushi on Wed Jul 02 2008, 14:29

    thanx...i'll write more if people want me to
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    azuki_dashi16
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    ZeroxAzuki

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    Re: Makai

    Post by azuki_dashi16 on Wed Jul 02 2008, 14:46

    XD Nice Dude.
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    Choushi
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Choushi on Wed Jul 02 2008, 14:47

    thanx much appreciated...
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    inufan52
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    Re: Makai

    Post by inufan52 on Wed Jul 02 2008, 15:01

    great sense of humor
    *laughing*
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    Choushi
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Choushi on Wed Jul 02 2008, 15:02

    thanx....
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    Angelic Harmony
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Angelic Harmony on Thu Jul 03 2008, 01:14

    Its awsome Choushi!
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    Choushi
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Choushi on Thu Jul 03 2008, 12:47

    oh thanx
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    Angelic Harmony
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Angelic Harmony on Fri Jul 04 2008, 17:57

    Welcomes.

    but what IS the effin Sandbox!?!?!?
    -______________-;;

    And yuuuuup, sounds EXACTLY like Renden-kun. Him and his ideas to make himself and sand stronger. Yup yups.
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    KatannaSan
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    Re: Makai

    Post by KatannaSan on Sat Jul 05 2008, 00:33

    LMAO

    Such a funny style of writing Choishi... None the less, I enjoyed it. You have a gift to entertain people...

    However, next time, if you could, can you make it with a better format. That way there might be a chance of not so many lines. It hurts my eyes a bit...

    Hehehe...

    But that does not change the fact that it is very entertaining. You have my vote to continue on!

    ^-^
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    Choushi
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Choushi on Wed Jul 09 2008, 22:01

    cool...i will
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Makai

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Wed Jul 09 2008, 22:19

    yay!!
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    Choushi
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Choushi on Thu Jul 10 2008, 14:45

    i kno its gonna b awesome
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    judai12
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    Re: Makai

    Post by judai12 on Thu Jul 10 2008, 14:55

    keep them coming
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    Choushi
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Choushi on Thu Jul 10 2008, 16:04

    hey!! who voted no!!
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    quater
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    Re: Makai

    Post by quater on Thu Jul 10 2008, 17:22

    I would never say LOL...or talk to a statue...I would build a big Silver Statue with Platinum in it and it's see through, because it's diamond (While the peasents starve of course) in front of the statues and just let it reflect my awesome.

    Good story. I am gonna guess..Is he proposing..MAKAI?

    And Charm doesn't know what the Sand Box is? Wow. Wait to be on the village forums.
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    Choushi
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Choushi on Thu Jul 10 2008, 17:56

    srry dude...i kno you probably wouldnt talk to a statue...or say lol..but its all part of the story....dont worry
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    judai12
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    Re: Makai

    Post by judai12 on Thu Jul 10 2008, 18:41

    why would someone say no
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    Gaara*Of*The*Sand
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Gaara*Of*The*Sand on Sun Jul 13 2008, 12:28

    bloody hell Chousi, keep them coming

    it was good!!!!
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    Angelic Harmony
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Angelic Harmony on Sun Jul 13 2008, 12:33

    quater wrote:I would never say LOL...or talk to a statue...I would build a big Silver Statue with Platinum in it and it's see through, because it's diamond (While the peasents starve of course) in front of the statues and just let it reflect my awesome.

    Good story. I am gonna guess..Is he proposing..MAKAI?

    And Charm doesn't know what the Sand Box is? Wow. Wait to be on the village forums.

    XD I barely go in the sand forums Hehehe...
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    judai12
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    Re: Makai

    Post by judai12 on Sun Jul 13 2008, 13:58

    y???
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    Gaara*Of*The*Sand
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    Re: Makai

    Post by Gaara*Of*The*Sand on Fri Jul 18 2008, 08:06

    hehe

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