Crispin's 2nd Poem

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    PeinQAkatsuki
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    Re: Crispin's 2nd Poem

    Post by PeinQAkatsuki on Thu Jul 31 2008, 14:08

    So beautiful and calming.
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    InnerCherry
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    Re: Crispin's 2nd Poem

    Post by InnerCherry on Sat Aug 23 2008, 14:46

    absolutley perfect.
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Crispin's 2nd Poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Sat Aug 23 2008, 15:28

    thank you
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    Sayomi Hatake
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    Re: Crispin's 2nd Poem

    Post by Sayomi Hatake on Wed Aug 27 2008, 00:43

    I understand that your focusing on the dove but its a really repetitive so instead of using the same word dove try finding other words that represent the dove this way its not as repetitive and still gets your point across.

    I like the first couple lines they had good rhythm and that line "As I wake each day...I'm greeted by the sun's warm and loving rays..." some really nice imagery!


    Last edited by Sayomi Hatake on Wed Aug 27 2008, 02:58; edited 2 times in total
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    CrispinFreemanWatcher16
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    Re: Crispin's 2nd Poem

    Post by CrispinFreemanWatcher16 on Wed Aug 27 2008, 01:49

    no thank you for the criticism^___^sayomi.
    yeah i use a lot of the same word a lot in this poem.
    i'm amateur writer.

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