WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Share

    Poll

    good???

    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 2 ]
    33% [33%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 4 ]
    67% [67%] 

    Total Votes: 6
    avatar
    Renden2005
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10040
    Age : 25
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    85 / 10085 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-17

    AMP
    Natural: 153
    Power: 151
    Instinct: 141

    WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Renden2005 on Sun Mar 30 2008, 02:57

    In the span of time....History has always
    repeated itself...what happened a thousand years ago...just may happen
    tomorrow...we'll never know...so in a sense we must go backwards to go
    fowards....we must go to the past to understand what may come in the
    future....

    It is dark....a total eclipse....his breaths are
    slow and concentrated...because he knows he must stay calm....as he
    lifts up his mask if reveals a face all to familiar to us...yet he has
    a distinct scar over his right eye that throws us off...his eyes are
    closed....all the better to see the enemy....he is the most legendary
    Anbu of all time and originator of the makai clan....Oni...

    Oni:
    COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A REAL MAN!!!!
    *another voice comes from the darkness in response*
    Mystery man:
    I am fighting like a real man....Im right in front of you
    *oni
    swings his kunai in front of himself in hope that he will connect...but
    his energy was wasted as there was nobody in front of him...*
    HAHAHAHAH!!!!
    this is my domain...my...utopia...darkness...and you will now
    experience the power of the dark....i have one question...
    Oni:
    WHAT!?!
    mystery:
    Are you afraid?
    Oni:
    no
    mystery:
    my shadows will crush you into dust....
    *the
    shadows draw in putting pressure on the unsuspecting shinobi...the
    force is crushing and at first impact ribs are heard....being
    broken....the mystery man laughs as he comes in for the kill....the
    streak from his kunai is the only thing seen....running through Onis
    body*
    Oni:
    you
    must not know me...i am ONI...the first anbu of SUNA....and i am
    destined to be the last...From the sand of the wind country i was
    created..just like every other suna shinobi...but when i was created
    part of my body was infused with the ashes of hell....you cannot defeat
    me...no matter what jutsu you use.....because out of the ashes pheonixs
    rise!!!!
    *oni finally opens his eyes revealing a redish tone in his
    eyes....it is revealed that he has a tattoo on his right arm....a
    phoenix shape....it glows with a red tone also....this is his true
    power*
    *the light from oni's body outshines the darkness....it is so
    powerful that even though the eclipse is still going on....it is as if
    were daytime....*
    *the mystery man is revealed and is blown away and
    bursts into ashes as the power of light is too powerful for him....oni
    is also in ahes...he sacrificed himself to win...to protect his
    country....his anbu mask lays on top of his ashes...

    SUDDENLY!!!

    *out
    of the ashes rises.....ONI!!! he looks exactly the same...but his scars
    and injuries....are gone....he is renewed...and as he stands up....he
    finds the ashes of his defeated foe and gathers them*
    Oni:
    this could be useful someday.......
    *the man destined to be the first....and the last shinobi of suna.....renden.....the red pheonix of suna

    *end of flashback*
    *rendens eyes open with the same redish glow he had a century ago....*
    Renden: THIS IS MY TRUE POWER!!!!!!!!
    *rendens
    body starts glowing making almost the whole whirpool country
    illuminate....endless is helpless as he falls to his knees in front of
    renden*
    Renden: No more shadows bitch
    *renden pulls out his sword....which is glowing red with all the chakra infused in it.......and puts it up to endless' neck*
    renden: i have one last question....are you scared?
    *as
    renden gets ready to deliver the final blow he hears a faint scream from the shore
    nearby....renden pulls his sword back and dissapears into the forest*

    Jose:
    you were a great friend ama..*as jose takes his last look at this cruel
    world the sword held by his former comrade amateratsu...runs through
    joses heart...jose lets out a scream of pain as he fades fast into
    death*
    Ama: it is done....i have killed the mizukage.....silver-sama shall be proud...i have gotten rid of this tyrant *a tear falls*
    Claud: you've done it!! you are truly a hero
    ama:*falls to his knees as the memories of Jose....his friend...his brother....hit him*
    Claud:
    what?....you killed this horrible man....you are a man of honor....a
    man of nobility....dont take pity on this...this...piece of crap *kicks
    the mizukages lifeless body* WHAT KINDA KAGE ARE YA!!!! HUH???
    *more storm shinobi come and disrespect the limp corpse of JOSE*
    ama: What have i done *ama looks up into the skies*

    *flashback*
    a few weeks earlier.....while on the boat to the whirlpool village
    Jose: AMA!!!!
    ama: yes sir?
    Jose:
    this may be the last time we speak formally..and i just want to tell
    you...that...you...are like a brother to me...and as my brother...i
    want you to look over the mist if i am to depart this Cruel world....
    ama: i--i--i couldnt possibly
    jose:
    *wraps his arm around amas sholulder....* trust me...if i were to pick
    somebody to succeed me...it would definitely be you....just
    remember...whatever you do when i die....take my body (if its not in
    pieces) and throw it into the ocean...i want to lie in the place where
    i arose....the water..
    ama: yes sir!!!

    end of flashback

    ama:*stands up* i must keep my promise...
    *the storm shinobi all look at ama*
    CMON AMA!!! LETS BLOW THIS JOINT!!!
    ama:
    NO!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE *runs to the body and quickly picks it up...ama
    runs to the edge and throws joses body into the ocean...just as he
    wished*
    *the storm shinobi all grab their swords....unseathing them....surround ama...
    AMA: HONOR!!!!!!!!!! NOBILITY!!!!!!!! THIS IS MY WAY OF THE NINJA!!!!!!!!

    *to be continued*

    yay!!!i got to post it for once!!!lolz...
    avatar
    Angelic Harmony
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 41942
    Age : 25
    What's up Tab : I love Oreo's <3

    Fanclubs : WOTN Veteran Princes!, FMA, Soul Eater!
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-11-08

    AMP
    Natural: 12
    Power: 12
    Instinct: 42

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Angelic Harmony on Sun Mar 30 2008, 03:23

    *Uber claps* WOOT WOOT!!! Awsomes!
    avatar
    Renden2005
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10040
    Age : 25
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    85 / 10085 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-17

    AMP
    Natural: 153
    Power: 151
    Instinct: 141

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Renden2005 on Sun Mar 30 2008, 03:24

    thanks...but he did most of it...i just edited his wirds a bit...
    avatar
    Endless Nothing
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 3067
    Age : 28
    What's up Tab : Lets bring this place back to life.
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-10-02

    AMP
    Natural: 0
    Power: 0
    Instinct: 0

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Endless Nothing on Sun Mar 30 2008, 03:30

    And so my life i spared.
    Although im sure you realize that i would never fall to my knees no matter how helpless i may seem, and i would rather die than look like a coward or a weakling.
    Still though, and good read. Im sure the others will enjoy it as well.
    avatar
    Renden2005
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10040
    Age : 25
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    85 / 10085 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-17

    AMP
    Natural: 153
    Power: 151
    Instinct: 141

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Renden2005 on Sun Mar 30 2008, 03:32

    i know...but i edited to keep you alive to prove your worth later on...^_^...its gonna be fun...
    avatar
    Choushi
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 3240
    Age : 25
    What's up Tab : yo check it...every time im on the mic i wreck it...i cant break the rules so i bend em like beckham....FOO!
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-07-23

    AMP
    Natural: 73
    Power: 93
    Instinct: 84

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Choushi on Sun Mar 30 2008, 11:25

    yea......its better that u kept him alive....
    avatar
    quater
    Hezi
    Hezi

    Male
    Number of posts : 118119
    Age : 26
    Fanclubs : Shikamaru! NCS WOTN Veteran Princes! Soul Eaters
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    90 / 10090 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-05-21

    AMP
    Natural: 56
    Power: Flood Attack
    Instinct: 50

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by quater on Sun Mar 30 2008, 14:06

    Endless Nothing wrote:And so my life i spared.
    Although im sure you realize that i would never fall to my knees no matter how helpless i may seem, and i would rather die than look like a coward or a weakling.
    Still though, and good read. Im sure the others will enjoy it as well.

    I might fall to my knees if someone else's life was at stake.
    avatar
    Choushi
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 3240
    Age : 25
    What's up Tab : yo check it...every time im on the mic i wreck it...i cant break the rules so i bend em like beckham....FOO!
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-07-23

    AMP
    Natural: 73
    Power: 93
    Instinct: 84

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Choushi on Sun Mar 30 2008, 15:14

    i guess ur juss that type of person Q
    avatar
    Rikku-San
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 1178
    Age : 25
    Happiness bar :
    50 / 10050 / 100

    Registration date : 2008-03-09

    AMP
    Natural: 0
    Power: 0
    Instinct: 0

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Rikku-San on Sun Mar 30 2008, 22:51

    Wow, that was absolutely great! ^^ You guys sure know how to write a good story!
    avatar
    Renden2005
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10040
    Age : 25
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    85 / 10085 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-17

    AMP
    Natural: 153
    Power: 151
    Instinct: 141

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Renden2005 on Sun Mar 30 2008, 22:53

    thanks for the compliment...though i still don't do much...
    avatar
    Choushi
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 3240
    Age : 25
    What's up Tab : yo check it...every time im on the mic i wreck it...i cant break the rules so i bend em like beckham....FOO!
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-07-23

    AMP
    Natural: 73
    Power: 93
    Instinct: 84

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Choushi on Sun Mar 30 2008, 22:56

    yes but u put the pizzaz in it....nd w/o u this story wouldnt possibly be as good as it is now
    avatar
    Renden2005
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10040
    Age : 25
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    85 / 10085 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-17

    AMP
    Natural: 153
    Power: 151
    Instinct: 141

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Renden2005 on Sun Mar 30 2008, 22:58

    all i did in the last two chapters is read it and change like 4 words and kept Endless alive...that's it...
    avatar
    Rikku-San
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 1178
    Age : 25
    Happiness bar :
    50 / 10050 / 100

    Registration date : 2008-03-09

    AMP
    Natural: 0
    Power: 0
    Instinct: 0

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Rikku-San on Sun Mar 30 2008, 23:00

    Revising a story is actually a big part in this to me ^^ Because sometimes people can be very deep into errors with something unlikely to happen, or spelling errors and things like that. I still think both deserve the compliments!
    avatar
    Renden2005
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10040
    Age : 25
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    85 / 10085 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-17

    AMP
    Natural: 153
    Power: 151
    Instinct: 141

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Renden2005 on Sun Mar 30 2008, 23:01

    but i do nothing anymore...this is mainly Choushi's story...i mean my story...no matter how hard i try to kep it detailed and stuff...no one reads it...


    Last edited by Renden2005 on Sun Mar 30 2008, 23:02; edited 1 time in total
    avatar
    Choushi
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 3240
    Age : 25
    What's up Tab : yo check it...every time im on the mic i wreck it...i cant break the rules so i bend em like beckham....FOO!
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-07-23

    AMP
    Natural: 73
    Power: 93
    Instinct: 84

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Choushi on Sun Mar 30 2008, 23:02

    i agree rikku.....cmon ren....ur givin urself less credit than u usually do
    avatar
    Rikku-San
    Citizen

    Female
    Number of posts : 1178
    Age : 25
    Happiness bar :
    50 / 10050 / 100

    Registration date : 2008-03-09

    AMP
    Natural: 0
    Power: 0
    Instinct: 0

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Rikku-San on Sun Mar 30 2008, 23:05

    Well, maybe the reason is that they are too preoccupied with reading Choushi's. I mean, I don't read more than one story until I finish the one I am currently into. Or my thoughts with the stories get mixed and im confused thinking that this character was here and such.

    That's just a theory though, I dont know. But you should take credit for doing something that at least helps a story out, ya know?
    avatar
    Renden2005
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10040
    Age : 25
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    85 / 10085 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-17

    AMP
    Natural: 153
    Power: 151
    Instinct: 141

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Renden2005 on Sun Mar 30 2008, 23:06

    i never give myself credit...and also...i am right no???i wrote it and no one read it until i said "READ MY FANFIC!!! [url][/url]"
    avatar
    Choushi
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 3240
    Age : 25
    What's up Tab : yo check it...every time im on the mic i wreck it...i cant break the rules so i bend em like beckham....FOO!
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-07-23

    AMP
    Natural: 73
    Power: 93
    Instinct: 84

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Choushi on Sun Mar 30 2008, 23:24

    i read it.......its a great story dude.......
    avatar
    Renden2005
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10040
    Age : 25
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    85 / 10085 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-17

    AMP
    Natural: 153
    Power: 151
    Instinct: 141

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Renden2005 on Sun Mar 30 2008, 23:34

    i had to yell at you to read it though...am i mistaken???
    avatar
    Choushi
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 3240
    Age : 25
    What's up Tab : yo check it...every time im on the mic i wreck it...i cant break the rules so i bend em like beckham....FOO!
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-07-23

    AMP
    Natural: 73
    Power: 93
    Instinct: 84

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Choushi on Sun Mar 30 2008, 23:37

    the first chapter.........
    avatar
    Renden2005
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10040
    Age : 25
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    85 / 10085 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-17

    AMP
    Natural: 153
    Power: 151
    Instinct: 141

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Renden2005 on Sun Mar 30 2008, 23:54

    otherwise you'd have just passed it by like everyone else...
    avatar
    Choushi
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 3240
    Age : 25
    What's up Tab : yo check it...every time im on the mic i wreck it...i cant break the rules so i bend em like beckham....FOO!
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-07-23

    AMP
    Natural: 73
    Power: 93
    Instinct: 84

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Choushi on Mon Mar 31 2008, 00:01

    ok...ok...ur right....but it is a great story nonetheless
    avatar
    Renden2005
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10040
    Age : 25
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    85 / 10085 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-17

    AMP
    Natural: 153
    Power: 151
    Instinct: 141

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Renden2005 on Mon Mar 31 2008, 00:02

    that no one reads...i mean i even put it in my siggy...and nothing...
    avatar
    Choushi
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 3240
    Age : 25
    What's up Tab : yo check it...every time im on the mic i wreck it...i cant break the rules so i bend em like beckham....FOO!
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    100 / 100100 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-07-23

    AMP
    Natural: 73
    Power: 93
    Instinct: 84

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Choushi on Mon Mar 31 2008, 00:03

    what if u advertise it....thats what i did......i dont anymore....cuz im to tired....
    avatar
    Renden2005
    Citizen

    Male
    Number of posts : 10040
    Age : 25
    Village : Scorpion
    Happiness bar :
    85 / 10085 / 100

    Registration date : 2007-08-17

    AMP
    Natural: 153
    Power: 151
    Instinct: 141

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Renden2005 on Mon Mar 31 2008, 00:06

    i tried...but it doesn't work...

    Sponsored content

    Re: WOTN Chronicles Ch 5 (posted by RENDEN!!!)

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Fri Nov 17 2017, 17:12