The Regretful Jinchuuriki and the Sorrowful Bijuu

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    Spit_Fyre666
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    The Regretful Jinchuuriki and the Sorrowful Bijuu

    Post by Spit_Fyre666 on Sun Feb 24 2008, 20:23

    "Talking"

    Thinking

    Bijuu talking

    Bijuu Thinking

    Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, Sakura would die, Naruto would forget about Sasuke, and sasuke wouldn't be gay.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    "Why did I have to have a stupid demon anyway? I'm an Uchiha! People think my stuck-up family has been hiding the fact that I'm a jinchuuriki. That damn Hyuga clan. They'd probably get nose bleeds from having their noses so high in the air..."

    Shinigami...why do you despise me?

    "Because, Kuroi Tenma-baka, you're the only reason I don't lead a normal life. If you hadn't had given me your power that day at the bridge, my squad or leader wouldn't have found out."

    Shinigami Uchiha left his room and walked outside in the pouring rain. He walked into Ichiraku ramen shop and ordered Tonkatsu ramen. When he finished, he paid and left. "What should I do. I'll go see my teammate Kiraimaru." He walked to Kiraimaru's house and knocked. to Shinigami's great dismay, his mother answered the door.

    "You! What do you want?"

    "I wanted to see Kiraimaru-san."

    "My son doesn't have time for chats with monsters. Go away!"

    She slammed the door in his face and his rage flared up. Black, visible chakra swirled around him and evaporated the rain befor it touched him. There were several screams. An ANBU squad converged on him.

    "Uchiha Shinigami, you are under arrest for realesing your demonic chakra in a non-bijuu zone."

    One ANBU walked foreward and patted the arresting ANBU on the shoulder. "Aww, come on, Karasu." The ANBU said, using the codename each ANBU was given in accordance to their face mask. "Give the kid a break."

    "No, Kitsune. You know the law."

    "But Karasu..."

    "Dammit, Uzumaki! I will not deal with your crap today!" The arresting ANBU said to the fox-masked one. When he turned back to Shinigami, he had already tooked the chance the fox-masked ANBU had given him. He mtook off and was at his house, hiding in his room.

    The ANBU growled and hit the fox ANBU in the face. "Damn, Naruto! You always let the jinchuuriki misdemeaners get away!"

    Naruto chuckled. "Jeez, Karasu. You thnik you'ld be nicer to members of your own clan..."

    Karasu wipped off his mask. "Heh. You always were a pain in the ass, Naruto."

    "Heh heh..Sasuke."

    An ANBU with a dog mask walked up to them. "Time to go guys."

    "Yeah, alright Kiba."

    "Hey, hey. Were still on the clock, you call me Inu."

    The three laughed together and headed back to Naruto's place.

    "Hey guys, who up for some instant ramen?"

    Sasuke and Kiba sweat-dropped. "Yeah, um...okay Naruto..." Sasuke said.

    Kiba smiled. "Hey guys, my sister Tsume might be over later, is that cool?"

    Sasuke smirked. "Yeah it's cool, seeing as how I'm going out with her..."

    "You bastard!"

    "calm down you two." Naruto said, smiling. There was a knock on the door. Naruto answered it, and three ANBU women walked in.

    "Hello, Neko, Ookami, Ondori."

    The girl with the cat mask took of her mask. "H-hello, Naruto-kun..." Hinata Hyuga. stuttered.

    The girl with the wolf mask took her's off. "Hey guys!" Tsume Inuzuka said.

    The final girl took off her rooster mask. "Hey Naruto, Sasuke, and Kiba. Whats up?" Sakura Haruno asked.

    "Nothing mu--" Naruto began. A kunai flew into his house with an explosive tag attached. Even with their ANBU skill, all of them were knocked unconscious as they escaped the apartment, which exploded.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Cliff hanger! Please reply with a rating on my story! I plan to do alot more!
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    Spit_Fyre666
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    Re: The Regretful Jinchuuriki and the Sorrowful Bijuu

    Post by Spit_Fyre666 on Mon Feb 25 2008, 20:44

    "Talking"

    Thinking

    Bijuu Talking

    Bijuu thinking

    Jutsu

    Flashback

    Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I pwn Naruto.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Previously: "You bastard!"
    "calm down you two." Naruto said, smiling. There was a knock on the door. Naruto answered it, and three ANBU women walked in.
    "Hello, Neko, Ookami, Ondori."
    The girl with the cat mask took of her mask. "H-hello, Naruto-kun..." Hinata Hyuga. stuttered.
    The girl with the wolf mask took her's off. "Hey guys!" Tsume Inuzuka said.
    The final girl took off her rooster mask. "Hey Naruto, Sasuke, and Kiba. Whats up?" Sakura Haruno asked.
    "Nothing mu--" Naruto began. A kunai flew into his house with an explosive tag attached. Even with their ANBU skill, all of them were knocked unconscious as they escaped the apartment, which exploded.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Please enjoy the second chapter!
    --------------------------------


    Hey kit, you better not die on me. I'm not kidding, either!

    Naruto opened his eyes slowly. He looked around. He was with Sasuke, Kiba, Sakura, Tsume, and Hinata. He sat up, but a soft hand was placed on his chest. "Watch it, Naruto-gaki," came Tsunade's soft voice. "You're still healing."

    Naruto grinned and lay back. "Watch who you call 'brat'..."

    He drifted to sleep.

    "Demon child! Go away! Die! FREAK!" Naruto ran away from the angry voices, holding on to life by a mere thread. Tears poured down his face and blood leaked from his wounds. He tripped and fell into a puddle where he shivered as the mob began to beat him.

    He woke with a start. He was still in the hospital, the sky had went from light to dark, and the faces of his comrades looked eerily twisted in the soft moonlight. He sat up and looked at himself. As usual, the Kyuubi had healed all wounds. He looked out the window. Who threw the kunai?

    Shinigami Uchiha stood in the Uchiha training room breathing heavily. There were 7 holes burnt into the wall.

    "Would you have been proud? Uncle?" He looked up at a picture of Obito, and formed the three hand seal again. "Horse, dog, tiger...Katon: Gokakyu-no-Jutsu!" He released a burst of flame and burned an eighth hole, but it was noteably smaller. Shinigami sighed, and closed his eyes.

    What do you want, youji?

    Don't call me kid. Antway, I want some of your chakra.

    Yes.

    Shinigami's eyes snapped open, and he activated his sharingan. He flipped three hand seals and bent down low to the ground. Black lightning covered his fist. "Haaaa...Oni Chidori-akki: 1,000 demonic birds! HAAAAAAAA!" He slammed his palm into the wall, which finally broke. "Ph, shit. I am so grounded...hey..what's that?" The hole in the wall led to a secret room where a scroll was mounted on a podium. He opened the scroll. "Tsukyomi...Amaterasu...and the Mayonaka-kokudo. The nightmare realm, black flame and midnight realm? What are those? What's the "Mangekyou? Hmm...kill my closest friend, hm? I see. It gives me much power...and access to the Sharingan Kage Tsurugi? But...can I really kill Kiraimaru?" Shinigami smirked. "Yes, I can..."

    An evil laugh came from the depths of the room.

    Sasuke awoke.

    "What's up Sasuke-teme?"

    "I dunno, Uzumaki-dobe. But...I remember this feeling...It's the same feeling I get when the Mangekyou Sharingan is activated and used against me...It's like that feeling but not as strong..." sasuke shifted and looked out the window onto the sleeping village. "Something's not right."
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    Spit_Fyre666
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    Re: The Regretful Jinchuuriki and the Sorrowful Bijuu

    Post by Spit_Fyre666 on Wed Feb 27 2008, 19:58

    "Talking"

    Thinking

    Bijuu Talking

    Bijuu thinking

    Jutsu

    Flashback

    Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I pwn Naruto.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Previously: "You bastard!"
    "calm down you two." Naruto said, smiling. There was a knock on the door. Naruto answered it, and three ANBU women walked in.
    "Hello, Neko, Ookami, Ondori."
    The girl with the cat mask took of her mask. "H-hello, Naruto-kun..." Hinata Hyuga. stuttered.
    The girl with the wolf mask took her's off. "Hey guys!" Tsume Inuzuka said.
    The final girl took off her rooster mask. "Hey Naruto, Sasuke, and Kiba. Whats up?" Sakura Haruno asked.
    "Nothing mu--" Naruto began. A kunai flew into his house with an explosive tag attached. Even with their ANBU skill, all of them were knocked unconscious as they escaped the apartment, which exploded.

    Hey kit, you better not die on me. I'm not kidding, either!

    Naruto opened his eyes slowly. He looked around. He was with Sasuke, Kiba, Sakura, Tsume, and Hinata. He sat up, but a soft hand was placed on his chest. "Watch it, Naruto-gaki," came Tsunade's soft voice. "You're still healing."

    Naruto grinned and lay back. "Watch who you call 'brat'..."

    He drifted to sleep.

    "Demon child! Go away! Die! FREAK!" Naruto ran away from the angry voices, holding on to life by a mere thread. Tears poured down his face and blood leaked from his wounds. He tripped and fell into a puddle where he shivered as the mob began to beat him.

    Shinigami Uchiha stood in the Uchiha training room breathing heavily. There were 7 holes burnt into the wall.

    "Would you have been proud? Uncle?" He looked up at a picture of Obito, and formed the three hand seal again. "Horse, dog, tiger...Katon: Gokakyu-no-Jutsu!" He released a burst of flame and burned an eighth hole, but it was noteably smaller. Shinigami sighed, and closed his eyes.

    What do you want, youji?

    Don't call me kid. Antway, I want some of your chakra.

    Yes.

    Shinigami's eyes snapped open, and he activated his sharingan. He flipped three hand seals and bent down low to the ground. Black lightning covered his fist. "Haaaa...Oni Chidori-akki: 1,000 demonic birds! HAAAAAAAA!" He slammed his palm into the wall, which finally broke. "Ph, shit. I am so grounded...hey..what's that?" The hole in the wall led to a secret room where a scroll was mounted on a podium. He opened the scroll. "Tsukyomi...Amaterasu...and the Mayonaka-kokudo. The nightmare realm, black flame and midnight realm? What are those? What's the "Mangekyou? Hmm...kill my closest friend, hm? I see. It gives me much power...and access to the Sharingan Kage Tsurugi? But...can I really kill Kiraimaru?" Shinigami smirked. "Yes, I can..."

    An evil laugh came from the depths of the room.

    Sasuke awoke.

    "What's up Sasuke-teme?"

    "I dunno, Uzumaki-dobe. But...I remember this feeling...It's the same feeling I get when the Mangekyou Sharingan is activated and used against me...It's like that feeling but not as strong..." sasuke shifted and looked out the window onto the sleeping village. "Something's not right."

    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Mission day. Squad 14 was going to go to the Land of Wind to escort an old man to Sunagakure. Shinigami stood with his teamates Kiraimaru and Tsubomi Aburame. They looked at their leader, whose pure white eys gazed at them with patience. "It is time to go." "Yes, Master Hyuga." They all took off after their master, Neji. They reached the gates and met the old man their, with his face buried in a copy of Icha Icha paridise: Kawaii Madness. Shinigami frowned and made a small noise, similiar to Sasuke's "hmph." Tsubomi sweatdropped and turned her back to him, and Kiraimaru glared at him. Neji bowed deeply and asked "Are you ready to go?"

    The old man looked up, apparantly surprised and unaware that the four had got there. He nodded, blushing, and packed away his book. They set off, traveling for about 12 hours before meeting any trouble. Then, Neji set up camp and the three chunin slept in the same tent.

    Shinigami eyed Kiraimaru with the sharingan.

    "Shinigami, I can tell by the way you look at me..." Kiraimaru looked at Shinigami.

    "You want to fight me, don't you...Shinigami. I thought we were...friends."

    "We are...you are my closest friend...but I need to kill you. Itachi Uchiha's still out there somewhere, and my Sharingan isn't enough. I need a sharingan that can search the ends of the earth. The only way to achieve my goal, the mangekyou sharingan, is to kill you." They both stood silently, Tsubomi still asleep.

    They walked outside the tent to a nearby clearing and got into their fighting positions. Shinigami focused his sharingan on Kiraimaru.

    Kiraimaru's hands flipped together and he spun a genjutsu. "Death Illusion Jutsu!" Shinigami saw a sword fly at him and cut off his head. The blood of the illusion spurted everywhere. He focused and the illusion disappeared. He panted. It'll take more than that..." He jumped in the air and flung out a Demon Wind Shuriken. "Akuma Kaze Shuriken: Shadow Windmill!" He threw it at Kirai, who jumped over it. Then, Shinigami through a kunai, which whizzed past Kirai's left ear. Then, he pulled back both weapons with hidden leading wire, which pun around Kiraimaru untill tying him up. The shuriken was pressed against his back and the knife aainst his neck. "If you try an escape jutsu, you'll be torn to bits..."

    He clapped his hands together, unaware that Kirai was performing the same jutsu. "Katon: Gouryuuka-no-Jutsu! Dragon Flame technique!" The flames were the shape of 2 dragons heading toward each other. They both exploded, and Shinigami burst through the flames, the chidori on his hand and they sound of birds in the air. Kirai jumped back, but the sharingan foresaw this and Shinigami pushed off the ground and flung himself at Kirai, who had begun flipping through handseals. "Suiton: Sui Doragon-no-Jutsu! Water Dragon Technique!" A massive water dragon erupted from hismouth and flew at Shinigami. Dammit. Even with these eyes I don't have enough room for a dodge! He tore through the dragon and his chidori evaporated, because he couldn't keep it going. Instead he slammed his fist into Kirai's stomach then kicked him in the chin.

    Kirai burst into smoke and was a log, but Shinigami spun around and kicked the real one who tried a sneak attack in the side. He pointed to his eyes.

    "Sharingan, my friend..."

    "...And it's about to become stronger..."

    Shinigami's shadow clone stepped up behind Kirai and held a kunai across his throat. The clone grabbed both arms and a water clone came from a puddle and grabbed his legs. The real one charged up a second chidori. "This time..." He looked up. "IT"S FINISHED!" Shinigami forced the chidori into Kirai's chest, killing him instantl. His eye marks molded into the mangekyou and he chuckled to himself a he left the clearing.




    [IMG]http://thumbnail.search.aolcdn.com/truveo/images/thumbnails/32/68/326817D72A9325.jpg[IMG] (Shinigami's Mangekyo)(if it doesn't show, go to link.)
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    Kitsune__Mcvile
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    Re: The Regretful Jinchuuriki and the Sorrowful Bijuu

    Post by Kitsune__Mcvile on Fri Feb 29 2008, 14:14

    That was really sad man and I din't mean what happened in the story I mean u suck at writing.



    Loser!!!!!!!!!
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    Kagamiko
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    Re: The Regretful Jinchuuriki and the Sorrowful Bijuu

    Post by Kagamiko on Fri Feb 29 2008, 20:01

    *hits kitsune*

    1, if you are going to say things like that without telling him what he can improve, you'd better just get the hell out of here.
    2. There is nothing wrong with his writing. Unlike some, he writes 'you' instead of 'u'. Just an example.
    3. The story is just a little bit to hasty, Fyre666. If you slowed down the whole thing a bit it would seem a lot more realistic. The three chapters you have written now (I presume each post is a chapter) could easily have been 10 chapters or more. If you have a litte more patiance, and let each thing take it's time, the story would be professional.

    Good luck with the writing ^^
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    Kitsune__Mcvile
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    Re: The Regretful Jinchuuriki and the Sorrowful Bijuu

    Post by Kitsune__Mcvile on Fri Feb 29 2008, 21:30

    Dude it was a joke it's good and I know him in real life
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    Kagamiko
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    Re: The Regretful Jinchuuriki and the Sorrowful Bijuu

    Post by Kagamiko on Sat Mar 01 2008, 17:20

    oh Dazed sorry Hehehe... I didn't know ^^
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    Kitsune__Mcvile
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    Re: The Regretful Jinchuuriki and the Sorrowful Bijuu

    Post by Kitsune__Mcvile on Sat Mar 01 2008, 17:28

    Don't worry 'bout it i was just messin with his head by the way could u help me pick a village
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    Spit_Fyre666
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    Re: The Regretful Jinchuuriki and the Sorrowful Bijuu

    Post by Spit_Fyre666 on Mon Mar 03 2008, 22:37

    ((Thanks for the tip Kagamiko and go jump off a bridge, Daniel))
    "Talking"

    Thinking

    Bijuu Talking

    Bijuu thinking

    Jutsu

    Flashback

    Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I pwn Naruto.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Previously: "You bastard!"
    "calm down you two." Naruto said, smiling. There was a knock on the door. Naruto answered it, and three ANBU women walked in.
    "Hello, Neko, Ookami, Ondori."
    The girl with the cat mask took of her mask. "H-hello, Naruto-kun..." Hinata Hyuga. stuttered.
    The girl with the wolf mask took her's off. "Hey guys!" Tsume Inuzuka said.
    The final girl took off her rooster mask. "Hey Naruto, Sasuke, and Kiba. Whats up?" Sakura Haruno asked.
    "Nothing mu--" Naruto began. A kunai flew into his house with an explosive tag attached. Even with their ANBU skill, all of them were knocked unconscious as they escaped the apartment, which exploded.

    Hey kit, you better not die on me. I'm not kidding, either!

    Naruto opened his eyes slowly. He looked around. He was with Sasuke, Kiba, Sakura, Tsume, and Hinata. He sat up, but a soft hand was placed on his chest. "Watch it, Naruto-gaki," came Tsunade's soft voice. "You're still healing."

    Naruto grinned and lay back. "Watch who you call 'brat'..."

    He drifted to sleep.

    "Demon child! Go away! Die! FREAK!" Naruto ran away from the angry voices, holding on to life by a mere thread. Tears poured down his face and blood leaked from his wounds. He tripped and fell into a puddle where he shivered as the mob began to beat him.

    Shinigami Uchiha stood in the Uchiha training room breathing heavily. There were 7 holes burnt into the wall.

    "Would you have been proud? Uncle?" He looked up at a picture of Obito, and formed the three hand seal again. "Horse, dog, tiger...Katon: Gokakyu-no-Jutsu!" He released a burst of flame and burned an eighth hole, but it was noteably smaller. Shinigami sighed, and closed his eyes.

    What do you want, youji?

    Don't call me kid. Antway, I want some of your chakra.

    Yes.

    Shinigami's eyes snapped open, and he activated his sharingan. He flipped three hand seals and bent down low to the ground. Black lightning covered his fist. "Haaaa...Oni Chidori-akki: 1,000 demonic birds! HAAAAAAAA!" He slammed his palm into the wall, which finally broke. "Ph, shit. I am so grounded...hey..what's that?" The hole in the wall led to a secret room where a scroll was mounted on a podium. He opened the scroll. "Tsukyomi...Amaterasu...and the Mayonaka-kokudo. The nightmare realm, black flame and midnight realm? What are those? What's the "Mangekyou? Hmm...kill my closest friend, hm? I see. It gives me much power...and access to the Sharingan Kage Tsurugi? But...can I really kill Kiraimaru?" Shinigami smirked. "Yes, I can..."

    An evil laugh came from the depths of the room.

    Sasuke awoke.

    "What's up Sasuke-teme?"

    "I dunno, Uzumaki-dobe. But...I remember this feeling...It's the same feeling I get when the Mangekyou Sharingan is activated and used against me...It's like that feeling but not as strong..." sasuke shifted and looked out the window onto the sleeping village. "Something's not right."

    "Sharingan, my friend..."

    "...And it's about to become stronger..."

    Shinigami's shadow clone stepped up behind Kirai and held a kunai across his throat. The clone grabbed both arms and a water clone came from a puddle and grabbed his legs. The real one charged up a second chidori. "This time..." He looked up. "IT"S FINISHED!" Shinigami forced the chidori into Kirai's chest, killing him instantl. His eye marks molded into the mangekyou and he chuckled to himself a he left the clearing.


    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Shinigami...hey, Shinigami!''

    "K-Kirai...?"

    Shinigami woke in the tent, Kirai and Neji were looking at him. "Dude, you were talking in your sleep." Kirai said.

    Shinigami's eyes snapped open. "What did I say?!"

    "You said, 'Sharingan my friend, chidori,' and 'it's finished'..." Neji said.

    Shinigami sighed and sat up, giving Kiraimaru a smile. "Heh, sorry." He looked around the tent.

    "where's..."

    "She went to gather berries." Kirai said.

    Shinigami looked at him. "A healing salve?"

    "Yeah."

    "Okay."

    The three of the left the tent. Neji looked up at the sky with his Byakugan.

    "What's he doing?" Kirai asked Shinigami.

    "He's looking into heaven with those eyes. Master Neji has evolved his Byakugan to go past the limits of even Hiashi-sama...His control is amazing.." He looked at Kirai.

    "Lets go train."

    The two headed for the clearing that was in Shinigami's dream. They began to train fiercely.

    -Konoha-
    "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

    Naruto's chakra swirled around him, and so did the Kyuubi's.

    Come on, kit, focus!

    Naruto's chakra turned purple as it fused with the foxes. it remained like that for a couple seconds before shattering like glass into blue and red specks. Naruto had his hands on his knees breathing hard.

    "Damn...I couldn't hold it..."

    You're getting better kit. Soon you will fuse our chakra's and forge a new form of power.

    "I'm surprised you're letting me do this. Why would you want to fuse with me."

    Because I will keep my conscience. Full unity gives you my power, not being, so you will be your own. But this power will change you. Are you aware it might make you a person you don't like?

    "Yeah, yeah, you already told me that. Lets continue tomorrow..."

    Alright kit.

    Naruto stumbled away from the small crater he made and headed back to the gate of the Forest of Death. He got back to the village and headed toward Ichiraku.

    He ordered two bowls of Tonkatsu ramen and gulped them down. He noticed Sakura.

    "Sakura-chan, hello!"

    "You never stop trying to become my boy friend do you, Naruto?" She smiled and gave him a friendly hug. "Glad to see you're out of the hospital..." Her face grew sad. "I heard you got more of the explosion than me...because you shielded me with your body."

    He blushed and nodded.

    She kissed his cheek. "That was for saving me. Thanks, Naruto..."

    Sakura smiled and left the resturaunt, leaving Naruto standing there shocked.

    Pretty eventful, huh kit?

    You could say that...
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

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    Re: The Regretful Jinchuuriki and the Sorrowful Bijuu

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